sometimes, its not about whether i can forget it or not..
its just that the time i needed is much more than others.?
like i said previously, i've cleared the doubts and misunderstandings that i have for the past years..
but somehow or rather, to be frank,
my brain is still tangled luhs u see..
(thats just me luhs, just cant seems to "kan kai" alittle more. LOL!!)
many told me that i should treat myself better, stop thinking so much, etc..
i do agreed to every single thing that many said,
but, time luh, give mi more time luhs.. (LOL)
when u have been so used to leading your life in this manner for years,
its hard for u to change the way u live like so out of the sudden u see..
i've been always wanting to be fair to everyone,
but in this world, there isnt such thing like being fair to everyone..
so yah, im those who always tend to find the best and fair solutions to solve everything,
and ending up bruises everywhere..
(quote by one the many.. LOL)
it hasnt been easy for me these past 3 years plus..
imagine, u have no choice, but always be happy in front of everyone..
trying to stay as strong as a big tree, pretending nothing's bothering u,
and everything just seems to go fine and nothing can actually beat u down..
(try it yourself and let me know if its easy not? LOL)
i know im not exactly a very good friend to the many/some,
but recent years, i've always try to be at least a better person each day..
these 3 years plus, it really teaches me alot (and it REALLY ALOT) lessons..
it really allows me to grow up u see..
(though im still not a perfect person luh (but who is perfect?) mmm)
im not trying to say that im good now, but at least im different from the past..
(okay, at least thats what i felt luhs, if pp don agree to it den so be it lo.. LOL)
to be frank, i know what i actually wants, and i know that the past wont be returning anymore..
but, im just like a balloon..
when i know what i wants, i will be bloated with air and flooding up in the sky..
but, this balloon will still deflate know, and when this happen,
it means that im still tied down and my brain is somehow entangled and don seems to be seeing wide luhs..
know what is 力不从心? this just simply really apply in my situation luh..
i admit that im not determined enough to forget or put the past behind..
that person took 1 year or more to let me realised that i've actually walked out of another bad situation..
but when i realised it, it was just too late luhs..
i know im as slow as a snail, or even slower than snails u see,
but then, like i mention earlier, time time time, i need lonnnnnnng time luhs..
i've got like so many things that i wanna type..
but everything just seems so pack at this moment..
i guess because im tired??
or because its just sooo pain to keep thinking about it??
seriously i've got no idea luh, but whatever it is,
at this point of time,
i wanted to treasure whatever i have..
though i might be still tied down to the past,
but, i will try my best to move off.. (but don expect it to be really fast luhs)
thanks to the many/some who is willingly to accompany me till now..
listening to my shits, entertain me whenever im in shitty moods..
(:
i'll still update whatever that comes to my mind..
but for now,
its been long and it has been a tiring day for me..
so..
bye peeps..
all gone, like the fireworks, once,
temporary beautiful, temporary sweet and whats left is only the memories..
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